yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
