I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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