when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
