Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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