Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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