Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
