She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
