A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Barsexuality is the new black.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
