You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
His nipple licking is glorious
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