I wanna bring you to show and tell
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
