I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
