I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
