He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
