i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
