Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
