I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
