if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize
