is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
