YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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