If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
