you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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