well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
