I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hippo gnu deer
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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