Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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