There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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