i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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