this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
