he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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