his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
