If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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