Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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