sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My Sexting was not on an AP level
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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