Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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