Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
