I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
