You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
