maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
