Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
