omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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