dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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