Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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