I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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