I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
