North Korea, Best Korea!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I need a beard to bite.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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