Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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