so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
