like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
