Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
