So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
