So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
