Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
