Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
